The Convalescence
by Coyote Wrangler
Summary: Soldiers. We have the hardest life to live, bullets flying overhead, friends dying, and blood on your hands, but what happens when we aren't needed? We're forgotten, abandoned, poor, and homeless. And those are the good things about coming home from slaughter. I came home to find war doesn't die on the battlefield, it stalks you until you breath your last breath.
1. Kelly

**The reason I deleted this story the first time is because of my friend. He came back from Iraq and it hurt knowing that I was extorting his trauma for cheap entertainment. If you are reading this, I'm sorry; I fucking love you and I want you to keep going like the Marine you are.**

* * *

Check your corners, watch the enviro, and pray you don't get killed. Check your corners. Watch for cloaked enemies. Don't get murdered. Protect yourself.

The gunfire in the background has ceased, one by one the human guns were quieted. God damn it. I knew I should've joined the army. I'm in hostile territory, outmanned, and outgunned. I don't want to be a Hell Jumper no more.

Static fills my comm system, and I barely hear the pleas for help over the ghostly sound of it. My visor is cracked, disabling my HUD, not that it mattered.

The horizon is lit up like a new year's celebration. Buildings offer cover from the soon rising sun. Hopefully Covies hadn't decided to set up in them. The city is swarming with them, New Jerusalem is falling, I'm going to die a soldier's death. I will avenge my brothers and sisters.

"Nohkoh se jah." The unmistakable voice of an elite come from the street ahead of me, "Wort, wort!"

Shit, hide. Kelly, hide! Running into the closest building, I prepare to fight for my life. My SMG is almost empty, my pistol is dry, and I lost my blade in the body of an elite as we fell from a ledge. I don't like my odds of walking out of this one alive.

The cackling grunts are outside the door, the growl of an elite is hidden within. Fuck me. I'm sorry, Lexi. I'm so sorry. I'm not going to come back. Not from this. Not the way you want me to.

The door explodes open with blue smoke lingering where it once was. I yell and unleash hell upon the grunts. Their bright blue blood paints the walls and ground. Their flesh is shredded by my gunfire as the magazine begins to run out of ammo. Methane explodes as an enemy falls dead. Green bolts of plasma whizz past as the infantry of the Covenant scatter from the lone human.

"I'll kill you all before I burn in Hell!" I yell throwing the empty gun down to steal a plasma pistol, "For humanity!"

The grunts fall as they scream in terror. An angry snarl resounds as I throw the overheated gun at a retreating grunt. It grabs my attention from the infantry. Turning to face the owner, I come face to face with a tall SOB. His grey flesh is scarred and wrinkled. His eyes are almost a soulless black. Every bit of him screams seasoned veteran.

Removing my helmet, I let my head cool as I breath to catch it. My fists ball as he removes his own helmet. The minor snarls with a bow before throwing a punch in my direction. He misses, but tackles me with one arm. His hand spreads across my chest plate to hold me down.

I'm down, but not out. My thumb jams itself in his eye, his purple blood coats my thumb as he pulls away with a cry of agony. He slashes me with his talons across me face. My blood pours from the injuries.

The elite runs out of the building with purple blood trailing behind. Thank God. Lying my head down I rest for a minute.

* * *

"Sergeant Kelly?" the psychiatrist asks as I lie down on her coach, "Sergeant? You zoned out for a second. Are you okay, sir?"

Opening my eyes, I face the woman with eyes the color of grunt blood. Her smile is fake as she taps away on her device.

"Do you know what it's like? Killing a living creature that feels?" I speak feeling my guilt burden me even more, "I do. You don't think until after you pull the trigger. Perhaps they wanted to become a hero, parent, or just explore the galaxy. The sangheili, I'm terrified of them, afraid to face them because of what I did. They were kids who just became adults, some were fathers, some just bored men looking for a little action. Hell, some were probably drafted after what happened on Reach."

I look down to my hands and still see the blood that stains them. Countless lives taken. Nothing will bring them back, no apologies, no crying. Just the heavy burden of knowing that they were afraid of dying. They had so much more to live for. One haunts me, forever. He didn't need to die, not the way he did. I'll never forget his fear. The tears running down his face as I pulled the trigger. He didn't want to be there, but I ended his life.

"Our time is up, Sergeant." Marie smiles typing away not even looking at me, "Same time next week?"

"Is it mandatory?" I ask studying the woman as she never looks away from her device.

She smiles looking at her free before replying, "No, but I think-"

"No. You'll never see me again." I speak standing and looking at the device she never looked away from.

Two Sangheili are making out as a human would with their mandibles holding the other. Their grey flesh against one another as both of them molest one another. They have scars across their bodies.

"Excuse you! That's confidential!" the psychiatrist snaps finally looking at me, "Patient information."

"And I suppose watching Sangheili fuck each other is more important than the men and women who are damaged." I snap back feeling rage take over, "I've considered suicide after the war. But by all means, don't let my depression get in the way of you getting wet."

She looks guilty as I call her out on her failure. She is supposed to help her fellow humans, but instead she is going to masturbate when I leave.

"I'm sorry, it's been so long since I've had fun." She whines as slam the door.

"Lieutenant." I acknowledge the officer with a salute as she approaches me with two guards around her, "Sorry, ma'am."

Lieutenant nods as she motions for me to follow, which I do. I don't know where she's taking me; anywhere is better than here.

"How do you feel about politics, Sergeant Kelly?"


	2. Politica

"As long as I can protect humanity, I'll never back down." I reply to Lieutenant Marie as we stroll down the ships corridor, "I'm not a politician, but I'll do my best, ma'am."

The brunette warmly smiles as we enter a large room. The same white walled; black floor style repeats itself within the room. A table big enough for six people is in the center with exotic and alien foods, paperwork scattered across it. Two Sangheili loom over the table with impatience. One wears a red outfit like the belly dancers back on earth wear.

The one in red is shorter than any I've seen, around seven feet tall; its eyes are a dull brown. It holds itself highly with a bit of nervousness in its stance. The head seems to be smaller as do the limbs. Stunted growth? Poor kid. Easy kill.

The other stands with pride and towers over the one in red. Its armor is a dark blue, almost on the verge of purple, but many dents are on it. It looks at me with a growl before turning its head to show an empty socket. Not him. Fucking hell.

"Human." He growls puffing his chest out in an effort to make himself look bigger, "Come to finish me off, like a hunter would?"

"You nearly killed me out there." I look him in his good eye and reply, "You know if we were to switch positions you'd do the exact same. Let's not bring the past up in front of the important people."

"Agreed. We will settle this later." Venom is in every word he snarls at me, "Begin, human lieutenant."

"Thank you, Kiga 'Draham." Marie speaks with a bow of respect, "In order for the alliance to work, we need to trust one another. So, our governments agreed to mix security details. Humans and Sangheili watching one another's back."

"Like a unit, right, Uncle?" the Sangheili in red asks with a prepubescent screech.

"Sort of, young one." The veteran says in a caring tone; still holding his growl, "Almost like an untrusting; murderous unit."

"Lieutenant, what am I missing?" I ask feeling uncomfortable at the exchange.

The brunette sighs and whispers, "Sangheili are raised by everyone except for the father, they're unknown."

"Problems?" the one in red asks in a curious tone.

I stare him down to make him continue the conversation on politics. The minor snarls, putting tension in the room, and his talons scraping the table. His eye is filled with anger, muscles taut, mandibles flaring.

"Easy big guy. What happened?" the Lieutenant asks attempting to calm the fucker, "No need for more violence."

"That is my niece!" he snarls lunging at me with murderous intent.

* * *

The ship jerks from an outside force. My pod suspended in orbit above the planet that is falling. Humanity needs hope, we need him. Sierra 117. I'm the next best thing for earth until then.

"Sergeant, what's our objective?" Private Kendo asks over the comm sys.

"Hold the city until civilian evac is complete. We will link with Omega team at the square, and move to the Kremlin." I order pressing a button to bring up the map of Moscow, "Baddies have the surrounding roadways cut off, the metro is our way in. Enter through China Town, and exit from the Lenin library." I press another button to bring up the Kremlin, "Built in 1495, it overlooks the Moskva River, plan B. It's an old fucking building, so that means be aware of your environment. One wrong move and we're history like the Marxists."

"Drop! Drop!" the commander orders releasing the pods.

The planet is fast approaching, the country holds her arms open, begging for us to save her people. She is scorched from the plasma and artillery shellings. The canal bridges are barely holding up the scorpions and kodiaks firing. Phantoms are coming from the north in bombing formation. Longswords move in to intercept, but they don't make it. The longswords explode as banshees dive bomb them.

"Banshees! One o'clock!" Corporal Simons exclaims through the system, "They're moving to intercept us!"

Daniels comes in on the comm "Son of a bi-"

"No! Those bastard's!" I yell feeling the chute deploy slowing me for the LALO drop, "Ready up, Alphas! We'll make them pay!"

Plasma bolts hit my pod, other's miss as I prepare to hit the ground. Brace! Stop! Exit!

Leveling the assault rifle to every grunt skull in sight, I pop and drop 'em. The jackals squawk and shoot their carbines as the grunts return fire. The blue blood stains the fresh; white snow. The cries of fear from the grunts signal they've reached breaking point, which means they'll run soon. The remaining grunts fall from multiple bursts of my team. Jackals screech and leap to higher ground, away from our bullets. Sniper rounds implode their skulls leaving behind purple blood and gore.

"Hostiles down. Moving to squad leader." Chicago says catching her breath, "Ready to move sir."

"Check your ammo, and book it to the RV." Reloading my SMG, I look at the buildings around us, "Hasn't change much since the twenty-fifth century. We're being watched. Snipers in the area, get to cover and lay low."

The gray clouds loom above like a predator stalking its prey. A storm's coming. Perfect cover as we move to Omega.

"Hey, Yankee." My comms come to life with the voice of a Scotsman, "You're welcome. We got pushed off course by the squid bastards."

"Copy that, Welsh." I reply vs address everyone, "Alpha; Omega, we carry on with the objective. Omega, provide sniper cover until we arrive at the metro. Alpha, check your surroundings and make sure no artillery hits Omega."

With a collective Hooah, we proceed to China Town. What the hell did you jump in to, Damien?


	3. Filth

"Omega! What do you see?!" I yell getting in a crater, "Where is he?!"

Reynolds is lying on the ground coughing as he cries out in pain, "God damn! It hurts!"

Poking my head over the lip of the crater; dirt kicks up a few centimeters from my face from the plasma beam. Son of a bitch! Carmine is holding her DMR tightly, waiting for the bastard to poke his ugly head out. The others lay beside me with their visors transparent, allowing me to see their fear and questions.

"Negative on visual, Sergeant." Omega lead says with his Scot accent from above, "Wait, I think I se-"

A plasma beam fires into the building that Omega is in. Son of a bitch…

"Gordon, grab the sniper, and wait for my mark." I command over the comm.

"Copy, Sergeant." Her voice is shaking in nervousness and fear as she breaths to calm herself.

"Gordon, you've got this. Relax, give Captain McTavish rest." I offer soothing words to the drafted girl, "These bastard's are on our planet, remind them of that. Mark!"

Climbing over the lip, I zig zag to Reynolds. Plasma hits around me as the sniper misses, nearly clipping my shoulder and body. The blackened earth offers some camouflage from above, not much, but enough.

"Sarge! Help me!" Reynolds cries outstretching his arm towards me, "Sergeant, please!"

Throwing my rifle on my back with the sling, I grab the back of Reynolds' armor. Plasma beams impact around me before the explosion of a fifty caliber sends the beams away from me.

"Carmine, you got a shot?" I ask pulling a bleeding Reynolds, "I need a medic!"

Hensley pops over the lip and pulls Reynolds into the crater with a grunt. Carmine fires two shots at a building to the south, and looks to me with her rifle upward. Her hip is cocked with a firm hand on it.

"I think I got him." Pride in her voice, "I got-"

Her head explodes from the concussion rifle. Son of a fuck! Shock troopers!

"Team, fix bayonets!" I yell over the roars of the brutes, fixing my blade on my rifle, "Aim for the throat!"

The stomping gets closer as the growls get louder. The ground shakes in fear for us, we will survive. We're ODST.

"Charge!" I command counterattacking and Covenant forces.

Lead unto Hell, with heroism and strength. Never falter. Pull the trigger.

"Die you hairy bastard!" I shout charging forward; unloading my assault rifle clip into one's chest.

The brutes roar and rush to meet us, lead and plasma flies past my head. My heart is pounding as I close in on them. I can smell their breath through the filter as I sprint with my bayonet charging unto them. Their blood red eyes fill with rage before pain, and finally more rage.

I'm swatted off, my visor cracks with his fist hitting me. Closing my eyes, I await a slow and torturous death.

* * *

My eyes open to the concrete jungle of Seoul, Korea. My hair drapes past my shoulders, a long; scraggly beard upon my face. The magnum in my pants is still there. My dry; calloused hands roll my ragged sleeves up to my elbows to reveal tattoos from my years of service.

On my left forearm is the ODST pod with alpha wrote underneath; all within a green star. My right knuckles have ODST tatted in them, and on my wrist is 666. Every one of them has a story, and each one of them is childish.

"Sergeant Kelly? When you said you were homeless, I thought you lived with your relatives." My escort says looking down at me, "Let me help you up. Nice neck tats."

"Nice big tits." I smile weakly, looking at my right arm, "Sorry. Habits die hard. Nice to meet you, Corporal…"

"Taylor. Don't worry about it." She gives a warm smile with her fake steel teeth exposed, "What's in the book?"

"Songs that Damien wrote, and a few pictures." I say holding the ancient writing pad tighter, "Some things I can't show you."

"Fair enough. You ready to go to the Sullen Moon?" she cheerfully asks, "You and three others are watching the Sangheili ambassador with two of them. Don't fuck up."

Rolling my eyes, I follow her to the transport 'hog. Every thing that I've done in the passenger's side pales to what happened from the gun. I broke an elite's mandible with a rifle butt, and took his life. His blood stained my uniform, even a nuke couldn't rid that stain.

Passing a burger joint, my stomach growls from the orgasmic scent of food. God, I'm so hungry. I haven't seen my gut in a month, but by now I'm sure I look like a bag of bones. Closing my eyes to ignore the pain of starvation, I focus on listening to nothing and everything. Anything to stop myself from thinking of my last time eating.

It was a drizzly Tuesday, I sat in my usual spot begging for a credit. The grey clouds just rolled in and people were passing by. A girl, no more than thirteen stopped on the corner with a container of apples and breads. Her brown eyes were filled with grief, but she hid it well. Thoughts of stealing from her crossed my mind; the shame I felt for even thinking that. She tossed me two apples with a note and smiled. Your still needed. Don't give up.

"When was the last time you had a shower?" Corporal Taylor asks making a face of disgust.

"Two months ago. When I was in that meeting with the LT and ambassador." I speak feeling no shame in my unhygienic state of filth, "I tell you this though, I need one. Worse than after Moscow. I got covered in brute shit. That stuff will make a fly gag."


	4. Relax

"Would this human be a part of my security detail?" she asks looking at my choppy shave and buzz, "He reeks like this planet."

The Sangheili in front of me is the short one from the meeting, her name was Lexilian 'Draham of some town. She is wearing white clothes trimmed in gold, silver chains form a sort of headdress, her dark eyes watch with disdain as I carry a rifle to guard her life. She hates me; I hate her, but that doesn't mean that I will let her die. Soldier first; human last.

"Sergeant Damien Kelly." I extend my hand as she looks as it with confusion, "Right. Sorry, Lady 'Draham."

I retract my hand and bow my head. Her hatred turns to intrigue before curiosity. Guess they're easier to read than I thought. Makes for an easy job.

"This way, Sergeant Damien Kelly." every Syllable is butchered, but understandable.

"Sergeant, good luck." Corporal Taylor says as I board the phantom with the ambassador, "Godspeed, Kelly."

"Sergeant Damien Kelly, is there any way I can shorten your name?" the Sangheili ambassador asks with embarrassment and nervousness, "You may call me Lexi if you please."

That name. Fuck. My breathing hitches as I think of her. She was my light in the dark. My everything. All the happy memories become my focus, a smile forms as I think of the day she proposed. Then the Covenant.

We- I was separated from the rest of Alpha, and when I made it to the rally point, I was given their dog tags, including Lexi's. I still see her auburn hair and emerald green eyes questioning me at night. She lies beside me at night with tears of blood going down her pale face from her colorless eyes. Every night she asks 'why.' Why didn't I save her?! Why wasn't I faster?! Why did I live?!

"Sergent Damien Kelly?" Lexil asks as I grit my teeth in anger, "Did you hear me?"

"Sergeant, or Kelly." My voice is void of all emotion before filling with an anger for her species, "I will call you Lexil or Ambassador, understood?"

She looks at me with horror before she attempts to scold me, "Now wait-"

"Under fucking stood?" I harshly ask with gritted teeth and a strong hold behind the trigger, "Never say that name again."

Her eyes widen with fear, her breathing is uneven. She nods with a frightened look, she looks away from me. Out of the corner of my eye, I see her wipe her eye as casually as she could, but fails to hide its intent. I've hurt her feelings. Guess emotion is a weakness of mine.

"I'm sorry." Her voice cracks as her breathing is rapid, "I'm very sorry!"

"No, I am the one who needs to be." I speak feeling no regret as the transport exits the atmosphere, "You didn't know. Lexi was someone special to me."

"Really?" her voice is on the verge of shattering, "I'm sorry, I'm a sensitive baby when someone raises their voice."

"Understandable, your how old, eighteen? Still just a kid." I lighten my tone and relax as we board the Sullen Moon, "Private Ryan, he panicked when I yelled at him for not getting down. I hate myself for not saving him."

"Enjoy your stay, human." The pilot growls opening the hatches of the landing bay.

"Follow my uncle to your quarters. I have to compose myself." She says taking calming breaths, "I will introduce you to the team later. Go on."

Standing my ground, I ready the rifle as I exit behind her. She seems unaware of me. Hopefully the others won't notice me either, but I need them as well. A Sangheili quickly approaches from the front; I leap into action.

"Back away from the ambassador!" I shout with authority; my rifle is aimed at his unarmored leg, "Back up!"

He backs away from her as she face palms with a sigh, "You humans are serious about security. Aren't you?"

"Yes, Ma'am." I reply watching a crowd gather around her, "You're not safe here, Ambassador. I suggest moving somewhere else."

"Uncle. There you are." She says as the crowd disperses to do their own things, "Please show Kelly to his quarters."

"Yes, Lexilian." He speaks with a deep growl, "Kelly, she is safe. Relax!"

* * *

Relax? How can I relax in a warzone? Falling to my knees, my gun clatters in front of me on the ground.

Blood drips from the ceiling as I am separated from the squad. My hands are caked in blood, human and alien; the gloves torn revealing some of my fingertips and palms. The grey clouds darken as the night approaches through the window. My legs are sore, every fiber of my being is begging for a rest. The artillery continuously fires across the square. I am alone within the Kremlin.

Take note Kelly, four magazines of the SMG and three more for the pistol. Enough to have me make it through the night.

"Sergeant, the civilian population is lost. Evac ASAP." A marine pants with radio equipment on her back, "Come with me if you want to live."

"I can't leave, not without my squad." I reply taking a few grenades, "I need any ammo you can spare, and a med-kit if you've got any."

"Sorry, Sir. We're dry." The private says lifting her comrade, "City's gone to hell. We're getting out of here. You as well, Sergeant."

"I'm not leaving without my squad." I speak moving deeper into the landmark, "Besides, entrance is blown. You're with me until we can get out of here."

"Fuck. Lead the way bucket head." A marine says loading his pistol, "We'll watch your back if you watch ours."

* * *

Looking up, I'm face to face with an elite. He holds no malice in his stance. Only confusion. The ambassador is beside me, a look of concern plastered across her face, her hand resting on my back.

"I'm sorry, Sir; Ambassador." I quietly say grabbing my rifle off the floor, "Comes and goes. I'm fit for duty."


	5. Haunt

"Sergeant Major Kelly, this is where you and your fellow humans will rest." Kiga growls with distaste for me and my people, "Weapons should be stored beside the bunks. The ambassador is across the hall, making you first response. Any questions?"

"Negative." I reply slinging my bag at the bunk I'm claiming.

"The others will join you shortly." The elite grunts, leaving me to unpack.

Opening the bag, I sort the contents. One issued toothbrush; three pairs of black socks; three changes of briefs, and a set of PT gear. Good to know the essentials are in order. Personal belongings, none. Everything is there.

Removing my standard issue armor, I sit and wait. Wait for something to happen. Time is a killer, silence is killer, our allies are killers. Every vile war crime they've committed under religious beliefs. Homes scorched, civilians vaporized, people eaten.

* * *

The door opens to reveal more passageway, the Marines follow close behind, rifles ready to fire. The continuous pounding of artillery shakes the Kremlin, pieces of the ancient building begin to fall on us. The dark halls cast shadows of claws reaching out in menacing embraces. I can only hear the sound of breathing from the two Marines. FNGs. Hell, by the end of this, are any of us FNG? Will we be alive for that?

"Sergeant, movement ahead." The marine with NVGs says, "Can't tell what. Permission to engage?"

"Hold." I order trying to listen to footfalls, "You sure?"

"Switching to FLIR. Nothing, sir. Orders?"

"Let's move, line formation." I order keeping my head on a swivel.

My heart begins to pound faster as my throat dries. The halls get darker the further we go, can't see shit. Visor is broke so I'm running blind. My ammo counter is the only illumination that I have. Ahead, I hear a scuff across the tile.

"Private?!" I ask with fear.

"I see nothing, it's close though." He speaks kneeling by me, "You don't think it's Vera, do you?"

"Anything but her, but what choice do we have?" I reply regretting my words.

She giggles from the halls, echoing around us. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck! Pushing onward, the little girl continues to haunt us, her games worsen the more we push. Rounding a corner, the end has an intersection with light coming from another split. We're close. We're almost out of here.

Picking up the pace, I try to escape the ghost girl, the Marines follow close behind. I hear voices, alien voices. Thank God! Slowing to surprise them, I wait for the Marines. A hand rests on my shoulder, it's colder than ice and I feel it through two inch armor. Turning to face its owner, I see no one.

"Marines?" I ask down a vacant hall, "Sound off, Marines."

"Bezhat." Vera whispers giving me my answer.

Rounding the corner I tackle the first thing and aim my rifle at the other.

"Sergeant, where the bloody hell were you?" Peters, one of the Marines asks, "You okay? You've a 'and print on your shoulder."

"She touched me! Fuck! Let's get out of here!" I order as she laughs from the darkness, "Right fucking now!"

* * *

"Sergeant Major Kelly, Corporal Andrews and The Knights. Sir." A woman calls out entering the shared bunks with nineteen other humans.

These kids lack respect and discipline. Too many flaws just in how they carry themselves, I don't even know their personalities and I hate them.

"Atten- tion!" I shout causing them to yelp and jump from fear, "In line, maggots! Now! Move!"

The pigs line up, lacking discipline. Their stances are too lax, of course, I'd be the one turning an escorts op into boot camp. A tall man stares at me instead of forward.

Yelling, I correct him, "Private Dawes, what the hell are you looking at?"

"Nothing, Sir."

"You think I'm cute?! Do you want me to fuck you?! Is that it Private?!" I shout in his face causing him to crack a smile, "You have five God damned seconds to wipe that grin off your fat fucking face! Do you understand me?!"

"Yes, Sir!"

"Damn it, the first and last words to come out of your mouth when addressing me will be 'Sir!'" I shout looking at the others, Do all of you understand me?!"

"Sir! Yes, Sir!"

"What's your malfunction, worm?! Are deaf, or are you retarded?!" I ask the private on the left, "Look at you! Tuck that uniform, maggot!"

"Sir, what's the point in this, Sir?" a pencil calls at the end of the line.

"I don't know where you went to boot, but you lack discipline! When you come under fire, you are to protect the ambassador like she's your own blood! Rest up, tomorrow PT at o'three hundred." I command exiting the bunks to find the commanding officer of the Sangheili ship.

"What's going on in there, Sergeant Major Kelly?" The Ambassador asks with her elite guard nearby.

"I require a training room or an empty cargo room, Madam Ambassador." I calmly inform, "Don't rely on my people until I get them trained to protect you."


	6. Loss

Kneeling, I take the dog tags from Lexi's neck. Her brown eyes used to be so full of happiness, and now they have nothing. Her arm lay across the hole in her ribs, blood pooled and soaked her. I didn't protect her. My fiancé is dead because I wasn't there for her!

"Sergeant, we've got to move. Night's coming soon; we need to find shelter." Private Mann voices her concerns, taking ammo from the dead, "Sir, we need to move."

Nodding, I take Lexi's grenades and MREs, "Strip them for ammo and essentials, they won't need them anymore."

"Copy th-"

"Sniper!" Private Lee dives into cover.

"Mann!" I yell scrambling to get into cover, "Sound off!"

"It's just us, Sarge!" Lee resoponds firing into the second floor of an apartment, "I don't have visual!"

Peeking over the destroyed tank, I try to spot him. Movement, three hundred yards. Rising, fire at the dark shape. It cries out in surprise and shoots needler rounds back. The needles hit the tank, forcing me back down. Lee pops up and empties his mag at the rushing enemy.

"Grab that DMR! I got you covered!" I command throwing a fresh magazine in my rifle, "Get off my planet!"

The enemy falters in his steps, but continues to charge towards us. His reason is certain, he's coming to kill us. My ammo counter reads zero; switching to my pistol, I empty it into the enemy's direction.

Lee returns by my side and sends two bullets at the enemy, killing him. I reload, and carefully make my way across the black and bloody snow. I get on my knees and put the pistol barrel in his split lips. Purple blood stains the white patch as he gags holding his chest. Tears streaming down his face, speaking in his language. Begging for a death, I oblige his wish and kill him. Fuck. Could've been a kid, and I ended his life.

"Sergeant, forward command is close by." Lee speaks taking the dog tags off of the human bodies, "We can resupply and confirm check in."

"Hey there army! Get in your tanks and follow me! I am Marine Corps Infantry! Hey there Navy! Get in your ships and follow me! I am Marine Corps Infantry!" I run down the corridors singing, having the twenty Marines repeat every line after I say it, "Hey there Airforce! Get in your planes and follow me! I am Marine Corps Infantry! Hey there civilians! Hey off your butts and follow me! I am Marine Corps Infantry!"

The Sangheili watch the spectacle and mock our bond. Mile three, on the way. Turning to the next corridor, I see the ambassador and her onboard guard.

"Tell my mama not to cry! In the Marine Corps you will do or die!" I sing leading the Marines onward, "Pin my wings upon my chest! Tell my girl I've done my best! Place a Kabar in my hand!"

The ambassador watches us with intrigue and a cocked head, "I'll fight my way to the promised land! Oo-rah! Blood and Guts! Everywhere! That's us! That's us! Lean and mean! U.N. Marine!"

"Sergeant Major? A question." She asks, stopping us in the beginning of our ten mikes.

"Atten-tion!" I yell stopping the lines, "Arms!"

The twenty salute her and maintain perfect stature, "Order off! Congrats, Marines, you almost earned my pity! Squad Leader Devons, take over. They better be sweating when they come back."

"Sir. Yes, sir!" he respectively speaks leading them onward.

"Madam." I speak waiting for her curious question.

"Why do you do this with your kind?" her eyes hold so many more questions and are alight like a child's, "What does it mean?"

"It's a way for us to bond and stay in shape. The singing keeps us in rhythm as a unit." I answer her and the next one she has, "Yes, you may join if you wish."

Her face holds immense glee as she twists her lips into a wicked snarl. Her shark-like teeth just visible beneath the grey flesh. A smile? Strange. Her hands clasp underneath her chin as if she earned a car for her birthday.

"Kelly! Get up!" Lee echoes in my ringing ears, "Fuck! Get up, Sergeant!"

"Chieftains!" another marine screams before the slamming of the grav-ham.

I grab a shotgun from the dead beside me and pump it. The shell is ready to tear his innards to paper. Lee looks at me, and gets pulled away by the brute. The brute slams the grav-ham on his chest, exploding his torso. His heart hits my face, knocking me back, but I keep my focus on ugly.

I pull the trigger and send the slug. Pumping again, I aim for his face and squeeze out another slug. He keeps running at me, blood pours from his nose as his shield falls. Pumping, the gun jams from the mud in its system. Drawing my pistol, I fire the last five rounds and kill him. One shot left, one for me.

I'm sorry, Lee. You didn't deserve to be killed like that. No one does. Fuck, there's no way to find out who's who in this scattered maze of limbs and organs. Mass grave? It should've been me.

"Sergeant, team delta is trapped in Bolshoi Theatre. Heavy fighting in Zaryadye as well. Casualties rising!"


	7. OD

Releasing the rubber, the needle leaves my vein. Tilting my head back against the grey wall, I let the drug do what it does best. Calms me; makes me feel nothing. I savor these moments of nothingness. If anyone caught me, I'd be discharged, but fuck it. I deserve it.

Closing my eyes, I relax. No FNG to bug me; no Sangheili to kill. Just nothing. Inhaling, I smell the smoke of the war. Opening my eyes, I smile as she seductively crawls to me.

"Lexi." I say as she sits her ass on my lap.

Her lips press against mine, her tongue parts my lips. She guides my hands to the clasps of her armor, her hips grinding against the growing bulge in my pants. My fingers work their magic and strip her off her combat armor.

"We're losing him!" a voice echoes from the hall.

Lexi smiles and slowly lifts her shirt, but before she removes it, she pulls it back down. Inhaling sharply, I awake in the med-bay with a group of Marines gathered around.

"Just let me die." I groan closing my eyes.

"Sergeant Major, no can do." A woman calls from the group, "Sir, we've confiscated the substance, for your health. Sir."

"You did what?!"

"Sir, you nearly died of an overdose. We were required to take such action, Sir." Private Luger answers, "We will take whatever punishment you decide with pride, Sergeant Major."

"You are all good kids, keeping an old dog out of his grave." I regretfully tell them, "All of you, thank you. I'm sorry for the way I've been treating all of you."

"Sergeant Major, we are family." Another speaks from the crowd.

"Do the Sangheili know about this?" I ask looking for the aliens.

"Sir, no. Sir."

Smirking, I thank them; one by one they leave me, wishing me luck. Once again, I am stuck in silence. I'm back in that battlefield, back in Moscow. I'm that scared ODST looking for someone, but I don't find anyone. It weighs heavy in my chest knowing that I could've done more, could've led my team correctly so they'd be alive. I could've done so much more. Could've let many more live.

I failed them. Their eyes questioned everything when they were dying. 'Why me? Why did I die? Why not you?' The looks of betrayal and hurt burned in my mind. The feeling of watching your closest friends die, and get eviscerated by an angry gorilla. Shit changes you, makes you dark. Makes you into a monster.

Their cries for their mothers echo as every face is covered in blood, mud, and tears. I kept telling myself it's war; people die. It made me feel worse, knowing trillions lie dead across the galaxy.

"Sergeant Major Kelly, are you well?" the ambassador asks with her uncle by her side.

"I nearly killed myself." I admit rising to sit up and speak to them, "Too broken to function, so I wanted to go on my own terms."

Kiga, the uncle, studies me and wanders elsewhere. Lexil pulls one of our folding chairs to her across the floor, scratching the Hell out of it. Her eyes study my arms and she focuses on the bend in my elbow. Her eyes travel toward and focus on the tattoo across my neck. Cocking her head, she studies the ink.

"It's a tattoo. Art in my skin." I answer the question she's formulating, "My arms hold the hold names of the dead I can't forget."

"Do they hurt?" she asks Leaning forward.

It always hurts. It never gets easier with the names covering my arms, it always hurts. The dead keep living in my skin; in my nightmares; in my reality. Every time I think I've overcome the pain, it returns much stronger that it was. It always fucking hurts.

"No." I answer from the ground.

"What was that, Sergeant?!" General Sharpe questions my denial, "It's necessary, son. Every man, woman, and child.

"I'm not killing civilians. Court martial me, I refuse to commit a war crime." I answer loading up on ammo and provisions, "I am a hero, and I save human lives."

"The Flood are on earth! Take no chances!" General Sharpe declares drawing his pistol, "Not even your own kind."

Spinning, I level the AR with his chest. Leave it to a higher up to disregard life so easily. These aren't people to them, they're acceptable casualties. Even with The Flood and Covenant, we have to protect these people, evacuate them. These are our kind we're talking about, we can't let them die.

"Get down!" the General yells firing beside my head.

Moving opposite the lead, I pull the trigger, killing him. The old man holds his chest as he falls. His weathered white face flies off his body from the incoming concussion rounds. Fuck! I murdered him! He was trying to save me, and I killed him. I killed a superior in the open.

Turning, I dive to the mud and open fire. The Covenant forces charge onward to my bullets. Grunts waddle towards me with jackals giving covering fire. The grey skyline with the dark buildings foreshadows my fate. Dead like Moscow. Only one person can save me…


	8. Touchdown

"Load up! Not training today boys and girls!" I yell at the troops tasked with defending the ambassador, "We have arrived at her home planet; we are not welcomed, but we have a job. No one touches the ambassador! Hangar; two hours Marines!"

Leaving the troops to get their gear on, I make my to the hangar. Rifle on my back; knife on my chest, and a pistol on my hip. My helmet reads full ammo, and three bangers. Sangheili groups have gone in ahead of us to secure an LZ, Kiga stayed behind for his niece.

"Kiga, what's the mission layout, Sir?!" I ask while he gives a few swings of the energy sword.

"We land in Vadam and proceed to the council. It is in a state of anarchy at this moment, so prepare for angry people." He answers loading his carbine, "We still haven't settled our fight. It will be a good warmup beating you."

"Sounds like a challenge." I speak, causing him to smile, "Come on, Old Man, show me what you got.

Looking up at him, I put my weapons on the UNSC crate beside me. My helmet comes off once more. No killing; no maiming. Resist temptation, Kelly.

He swings his first right hook; I duck under and punch his gut. Damn he's sturdy. Hit harder next time. Kiga grabs my arm and tosses me like his bitch. I hit the ground; roll to my side. The elite prowls closer, giving me a chance to find a weakness. Scanning him, I find nothing, keep watching. He kicks over my head, I grab his leg and shove upward. With him off balance, I notice that his left hoof doesn't have solid footing.

My boot connects with his ankle, sending him to the floor. Make the final blow. I pounce, and straddle his torso, my hand around his throat. He laughs and admits defeat.

"You call that a fight?" Lexil asks with a Sangheili smile, wearing a white and black outfit, "Uncle, you promised your victory in seconds. Well done, Sergeant Major."

"Looks like we missed the party, Marines." The Knights enter the hangar with their weapons ready and armor cleaned, "Platoon ready, Madam. Nothing will get past us."

"Form up, BP. We are landing here, in the garden district and proceed north for one kilo." I brief them with Kiga and Lexil listening, "Bracken, you will lead exterior front; Lorna, rear exterior; Hernandez, interior; Kiga and I will take personnel. Get some chow, and return within the hour."

"Sergeant Major, may I ask you another question?" Lexil asks pointing to my dog tags, "What are those?"

"ID serial number, name, blood type, and occasionally, a bullet stopper." I answer and begin stripping my SMG, "Let's us know who's injured and who's dead."

Pulling the bolt back, a new round chambers. They're not going to get me. I'll die before then. An elite comes around the corner, he seems to be alone, like me. No need to waste the lead. Holstering my AR, I draw my blade and hop onto his back. He reacts too quick for the knife to stab into his neck, and slams me down on the sidewalk. He lifts his hoof over my head; before he brings it down, I roll away and back up to my feet.

The elite fires plasma bolts at me, I zigzag to close the distance. The alien punches; the knife slices his forearm, causing him to growl. He swings his pistol, cracking my visor further from the impact. He lunges with a charged shot; his face holds anger, and his claws scratch my armor. He fires the shot, burning my leg, and tackles me into a weak wall. My blade enters his throat as we fall; the river carries his body away, along with my knife. Rubble from the wall collapses towards me.

"Hold formation." I order from the incoming garbage hitting my troops, "Weapons down."

The Sangheili are a lot more pissed than anticipated. Nevertheless, we continue marching in unison. They don't get too cocky, and no guns have been fired. None of the garbage has been directed to Kiga or The Ambassador, so that is a good thing.

"They wish for you to leave, human." Kiga says over the boos of the crowd.

"Thanks for the update, Captain Obvious." I retort, aiming at one who shoved their way through the unit, "Back up! Move, or I shoot!"

They speaks their language. Like I understand them.

"Back away!" I yell getting closer, SMG aimed at their chest, "Come on, asshole!"

Lexil lowers my weapon and hugs the breacher. I study their hands and see they are empty; energy sword on their hip.

"Hernandez, move and detain." I order over the comm-sys, "Sword on the left hip; I got you covered."

Two troopers move in, rifles aimed at the intruder, one moves slowly to reach for the weapon. I prepare to jump in and subdue them if it goes south.

The troop gets shoulder checked by a second. Son of a bitch. The two stand behind The Ambassador and growl at us.

"Who let them through?!" I shout aiming at the tallest of the two.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 **So, who's ready for _Whitechapel_ to put out a new kickass album? Anyway the reason for the story being jumpy is that is how war is. You never know. **


	9. Finale

"You know Sergeant, fuck these people." Reyes speaks, "Opening fire would be quick and easy. They don't know Arbiter."

"Stand down, gringo." I order moving to the two beside the ambassador.

"Sergeant Major, these are my younger sisters." Lexil smiles.

"Clear out, we've work to do." I order again pulling up my weapon.

"Human, clearly you are afraid of children." Kiga says with a teasing tone, "I will take it from here, you're no longer needed."

"Wait a minute!" I'm greeted with a gun in my face.

Kiga has turned on us, same for his men.

"Open fire."

Plasma and lead trade owners. Soldiers yell at their enemies. Children scream in terror and sprint for their mothers, putting themselves in front of the shooting, and women run to avoid the exchange.

Kiga falls; the Ambassador yelps as she gets tackled by one of her own. Before I can react, the attacker slices her head off with an energy sword. The young girl's purple blood splatters on my visor. I empty the pistol magazine in his head, and watch as her sisters cry in anger. The elites charge at our unit, but very few get through.

"Contingency Echo." I radio up to the titan above.

Mantis walkers drop, as do warthogs. Spartans rush against the enemy and proceed to obliterate them with ease. My marine group stops firing and stands in either awe or horror at the bloodshed.

Red and purple splatter the bodies of my troops. Hernandez, cradles a marine in his arms, tears in his eyes. Tessa holds her throat as she bleeds out.

"Corpsman!" Diez cries holding a needle round in his leg.

The troops look at their weapons in disgust, and I can see how they become heavy in their arms. I've been in their boots; it gets worse. The troops try to help each other as the skirmish soon becomes quieter with each second.

A pelican descends and lands behind us. No markings, solid black. ONI. Fuck them.

"Rebels have littered the city for years." The Arbiter speaks from the pelican with a team of Spartans behind him, "Thank you, human, now we will cleanse my home."

"But the Ambassador?" I speak pointing to the lifeless woman with her sisters sobbing, "The children?"

"Truly sad, but they faced death with honor." He speaks placing a talon on my shoulder, "I will bury them with the highest honors."

He didn't see the look of terror on her face. Her eyes wide with fear; mouth open in shock. He never saw the panicked children running into the crossfire. He didn't see the pregnant women dive for cover and then scream in agony. He didn't see it. They never see it. They only see the medals and glory. It's us rats that crawl in the mud to better them.

I enter pelican and sit alone in the vessel as everyone exits to fight. Digging through my upper pocket, I grab ten white circles of joy. Tilting my head back, I swallow the fun. Pills taking me for a ride of the lifetime. Fuck yeah. Hell yeah.

The bay melts, as the inferno rages from my hands. The tattoos in my arms dance to music of random notes in a strange harmony. Opening my mouth to speak, I shout snow at the fire. Oh yeah. The wall stops melting and forms skeletal remains of a once proud city.

Snow covers the ground, fire flickers from the windows; sometimes, an explosion. Looking around a face of the dead looks me in the eye. Lexi blows me a kiss from her half rotten face, maggots fall as she dances in beautiful harmony. She takes my hand and rubs it across her pale; pealing breast. I smile as I begin to feel foam on the corners of my mouth. My chest pounds rapidly before stopping abruptly. Holding my hand over my heart, I fall to the steel floor, eyes closed; blood spilling from my tear ducts and nasals.

When I was a kid, every story had a happy ending. The hero gets the girl, becomes king of something, and lives happily ever after. Fuck that bullshit. They never tell of the ones the heroes stepped over to get his happily ever after. I was a stepping stone, and look at me now. Dead as fuck. Never let anyone tell you you're special, because you're worthless. Only ones special are those that lie their way to become heroes. Don't believe what your told, listen to the truth, or become blind.

My story is not a one time thing. It happens every fucking day. Soldiers killing themselves to escape war that ended. People overdose for a final fun ride. Help someone like me, like your brothers; sisters; mothers; fathers, help them.

 **I hope you enjoyed it and I will not apologize for the length. Short and confusing. Veteran suicide rates have increased because they are afraid society will look down upon them for not coping with something they're deemed capable of. My friend once said, "If the regular people were to do what we did then they'd understand us."**


End file.
